Ups and Downs

Hey guys so I am sure you are all wondering how our meeting went......well it never happened. No joke 5 minutes after I finished my last blog I called to sign us up for the meeting on the 23rd and was informed it had been canceled :-( the lady at the church that I talked to did not know why it was canceled so I was VERY disappointed. Patience has never been a virtue of mine so we're back to waiting until April 5! UGH, it really isn't cool! So Mark and I are still enjoying our signs, we'll hear or see something look at each other and just smile. I mean we were watching The Rescuers (classic) and I got a little teary at the end when the little girl gets adopted! haha I know I'm a sap! Other than that not much has happened. Got an email from the MARE people from when we had put in interest for Sarah, she basically gave the same info BCS did so nothing new there.
So I've decided now would be a good time to answer some of the questions I've been getting from people when they find out we're adopting because I'm sure some of you have the same ones.
Do you realize how much it costs to adopt? Yes we realize how much it costs to adopt an infant, anywhere from 10,000-50,000 dollars depending on age, international/domestic, and such. But we are not adopting an infant which makes a huge difference financially speaking. Because we are adopting a child out of the foster care system the state picks up a large portion of the costs *and by large I mean all of it* Even though we're working through Bethany Christian Services because they are a contractor of the state we don't have to pay their fees. Our only costs will be related to when we go to court a couple months after our child comes to live with us. But on a similar note even if we did have to pay Mark and I trust God to take care of us, we feel called to adopt and that means we trust God to help us through this process physically, emotionally, and financially. If we felt called to adopt an infant to another country we trust God would help us find the money for it, but we don't so we're not worried about the money.
Do you realize this child could have 'problems'- Sigh, yes we do realize that a child adopted will have a whole myriad of problems whether they are physically, mental, or emotional. Again we TRUST God to see us through. Children who aren't adopted can have any number of problems just like adopted children, if we we're having a baby I don't think people would doubt our abilities to handle those. But I understand that kids who have traumatic childhood's deal with attachment issues, and other problems. We're prepared for this as best as any new parent can be. We (and by we I mostly mean me cause I'm the nerd in the family) have done lots of research on Attachment Disorders, and the other unique issues children who are adopted face. We feel confident in our ability to deal with these issues as they arise and are not afraid to reach out for help if we feel overwhelmed. The key to adopting a child out of the system is to recognize when you can't handle things and reach out to the different services (counseling and such).
Don't you want kids of your own- oiy as soon as the papers are signed Sarah or whoever we adopt will be OURS! Yes we would still love to have a baby, but if that isn't in the cards for us we've accepted that. We've been trying since July to get pregnant and that just hasn't happened. I'll be honest with you all so if you are uncomfortable with this topic skip to the next question. it's been rough journey for us, I've got PCOS *polycystic ovarian syndrome* which has a whole host of fun (sarcasm) symptoms. Main of these is not ovulating on any type of normalcy which makes getting pregnant very difficult. Though many people with PCOS successfully get pregnant through modern tech such as in-vitro Mark and I are not willing to go that route. Kudos to those who are we aren't casting judgment, but we already knew we wanted to adopt so we will have a baby if that is what is meant for us, but if not we'll gladly have a large family of kids who truly need us.
You're only 22/23 why the rush- Mark and I both want to be young parents, yes that goes against the modern trend of waiting til the late 20's early 30's but it is a lifestyle decision for us. We want to be able to enjoy our children and eventually grandchildren (yes I really think that far ahead) we also want a large family (at least 4 kids maybe more!) having a family is really important to us both Mark is going to be an amazing father and I'm really excited about being a mom. The more time I spend with kids (my girls on the run team especially) the more I look forward to it. We know that we can always find a reason to wait to start our family we could always have more money, more vacations, more whatever but none of that is more important to us that our family so we are willing to work a little bit harder to have it all.
Anyways that's about all I can think of for the questions people ask me. If there is more you want to know just feel free to ask. Guess that is all for now, I'll let you know how the meeting on the 5th goes.

Love you all
Nicole

Signs, Signs, and More Signs

There have been so many signs that adoption is meant for us. It started with a Jone's Soda Cap and has included books, movies, songs, bible verses, church sermons, ads, presentations and so on and so on. Even now after we've made the decision we're still seeing them everywhere. At church last week there was a notice in the bulletin advertising a foster care/adoption meeting at church on the 24th. After church we stayed and talked to some friends of ours and were saying bye to Britton (our friend/pastor) and he introduced us to another couple in the church who had just gone through the process for foster care and were promoting the meeting on the 24th. After a quick hello we were on our merry way...later that week I received a really nice email from Ann (of the couple we meet at church) encouraging us in our adoption journey and personally inviting us to the meeting on the 24th. Now what is so special about this meeting you may ask.....well....it's exactly the same meeting that will be at BCS on April 5th!!! A whole 12 days earlier!! The only problem being that the 24th is a Wednesday, which is the same night I work at Parkway, so hopefully I can find someone to work for me otherwise Mark will get there on time and I'll meet him after I get out of work. Luckily I'm working first off, so I'd be able to get there around 7 or so.
So that would put us at getting out application in 12 days sooner and then our PRIDE and homestudy done 12 days sooner.
Then this week at church we had a presentation by BCS which was very interested. There are about 6,000 children in Michigan available for adoption and there are over 10,000 churches in Michigan. If each church did it's duty we could solve the adoption, well Mark and I have Ridgepoint covered so it's up to the rest of you to meet your churches quota ;-) haha j/k. Anyways Mark turned and looked at me and said 'did you know this was happening today *the presentation' I said no and he was blown away at how God keeps sending us signs. But it was definitely cool with me. Today on the radio they were talking about adoption to when I was driving home from teaching, it was a very interesting discussion on behavioral problems children might have when they are adopted.
So anyways we have a lot of great resources that we've been reading so if anyone is ever interested in checking them out let me know.
Love you all, can't wait to let you know when we've successfully made it to the meeting on the 24th instead of the 5th. I'll be sure to updated you as soon as possible.

Kid's Room

So we finally got the guest room completely turned into a kids room. In my opinion it looks AWESOME! We turned my old full-size bed into a twin bought a super cute comforter that is nice and neutral, we didn't really want to buy up any stuff until we know A. who we're getting and B. what their preferences/style is like. We also got a super cute dresser and night stand from Wal-Mart, I had a fun time putting those together, except for when I put the sides of the drawers on the wrong size and got frustrated when I couldn't figure out why the drawers weren't lining up!!! But here are some pictures of the final product!! And a picture of where all the stuff that used to be in the guest room that doesn't have a home yet ended up!!
Other than that we don't really have any news, got our informational packet from BCS the other day, it was filled with information that we already pretty much knew, but it did give us some more specifics on what they will be looking for in the home study. I was somewhat surprised by it, they look for a full medical history and recent physical, but won't deny someone with health problems. They look for a W-2's and recent tax filings, but won't deny someone based on low income as long as they show they can take care of another person. They look at housing, and age but again won't deny based on if you live in a house/apartment/trailer/whatever, and age they prefer 20's-45 but won't deny based on age either if you can show why. So yeah isn't it good to know they are making us jump through hoops to show them all this stuff but then say well it's great that you fit these certain criteria but if you don't we'll still take you anyways!
So we signed up for our informational meeting on the 5th of April, can't wait to go and fill out our application! We've been having a lot of fun letting everyone know about what we're doing, we had made sure we told family first and now we're pretty much telling people we meet on the street cause we're so excited. I've began volunteering with the Girls on the Run which is an AWESOME program for girls in 3rd thru 5th grade training them to run a 5k which culminates with a girls on the run 5k in 10 weeks. It's been super fun I have a really great group of 12 girls who are so much fun, and since the girl we're looking at adopting is a 9yr old girl I'm having a great time learning about 9 yr olds and they're having fun teaching me what's cool and such. It's awesome I really love it if you ever have a chance to work with Girls on the Run I highly recommend it!! Anyways that's all for today. Love you guys I'll keep you updated as we keep going.

Welcome

Hey everyone,
So I've decided that this is the best way to keep everyone up to date on what is going on with us and our adoption journey. So as I told you all in my facebook note, I went down to the Department of Human Services (DHS) here in Holland. Well it was not the most promising of beginnings!! The guy at the front desk had absolutely no idea what I was talking about when I asked to speak to someone about adoption. Finally, after forcefully suggesting I knew what I was talking about, he called the Adoption and Foster Care manager (hmm think having someone there with that title should really have given him a clue dontcha think?). Anyways she wasn't really that helpful just took my name and infor and the information of the girl we're interested in and told me I would get a call from their adoption worker.
So needless to say I was pretty disappointed when I left there! Well later that night (around 4:30 as I was getting ready to go to work) I got the call from the adoption worker. She told me that basically they contract out all of the MARE adoptions to Bethany Christian Services (don't get me started on the Empty State Theory). So she gave me the contact information for one of the workers there, she said that I could either call them or she would be calling them later and giving them my information. Well of course I chose to take the initiative and called BCS myself and talked to the lady there. Well that went swimmingly (not) apparently there is an orientation meeting once a month, and while you know having only been March 3rd I thought I was good, well apparently not, I guess the meeting is the first Monday of the month!! Which was March 1st. So we have to wait until April 5th. UGH! After the orientation meeting we will be able to fill out an application.
So that is all we have so far. We can't do anything until the April meeting which is very frustrating for me, since I am the type that when I decide to do something I want to do it right away. I guess I'm mostly frustrated that we missed the March meeting by two days! Oh well, so that's all we have so far. can't wait til there is more exciting news to share.

Love,
Nicole and Mark