Goals

So after last weeks slightly depressing post I have decided to come up with a life list of sorts letting you all know my goals for the next year, five years, ten years, lifetime. So that this way you all can hold me accountable for them, and help encourage me to meet them. :-) some are pretty out there, others are pretty basic, but all in all these are the goals I have decided to set for myself. Please feel free to comment, share, pray for me as I reach for them, and push me when I need it!!

By 12/31/2010

• Read at least one Jane Austin book cover to cover (or kindle beginning to end as the case may be)
• Start taking Aikido lessons
• Get pregnant and/or restart the adoption process in Arkansas
• Make my recruitment goals at work and get my bonus!

By 12/31/2011

• Train to 
• become a self-defense instructor
• become a CPR/First Aid instructor
• speak Spanish fluently (or be on my way to that goal)
• Finish writing my book. To see my progress check out my page on Scribd
•  Have at least one child
• See the Grand Canyon
• Go on a cruise
• Let go of vanity and shave my head for cancer St. Baldricks
• Become a Boy Scout troop leader since I can't be a Girl Scout Troop Leader

By 12/31/2015

• Buy a house
• Get Mark through college :-D
• Finish my Master's degree
• Learn how to change my own oil
• Write a second book
• Spend a month living in a different country and/or host an exchange student

By 12/31/2030

• Renew my vows
• Be a PTA/Soccer mom with a carload of kids :-D
• Have visited every continent 
• Seen every Presidential Museum
• Run for public office whether that's a city council rep, State Rep, Senator, President ;-)
• Have my PhD
• Start my own non-profit
• Teach someone how to read
• Be a good/happy person
• Be graceful
• Do something absurdly generous

So that is my list as of now. Just because it's under the 2030 category doesn't mean I can't do it sooner, I could theoretically do all of it by the end of next year....though I don't think I'll have the time or resources to necessarily do that. :-) I can't wait to scratch things of the list and add new things to the list as I think of them.
Love you all!

A few thoughts on our family

So it's been pretty tough for me lately....if I hadn't accepted this job offer Mark and I would have been licensed by now....that is something I've really been having a hard time wrapping my head around, we'd possibly be parents by now. I won't lie I get choked up just thinking about it. We'd have a daughter getting ready for a new school year, getting used to new routines, making new traditions, being a family. I knew when I accepted the job that this would be the hardest part.
But sometimes I realize just how real it was. Particularly with my job being so involved in the schools and being around little girls that are the same age as the girl we were interested in can sometimes kick me right in the chest.
We've decided to focus on the fact that maybe we'll be having a baby. That was always a possibility, we knew going into the adoption process that if we got pregnant than we'd pull out of the adoption as long as placements had been started. So I keep trying to tell myself that we gave up the adoption in MI so that we could come to AR and have a baby. That wouldd be great if we were actually pregnant, which we're not.....and we've now crossed the one year mark of trying to get pregnant. But because of the move I obviously couldn't keep my appt with the doctor to step up our fertility efforts.....double sigh...
I've got a number of friends, family members, acquaintances who of course are pregnant right now, or just recently had a baby. And it's not that I'm not thrilled for them (I am! I love being an Auntie) but when it rains it pours, everytime we hear of another pregnancy Mark and I share that brief moment of utter envy. Don't get me wrong we are truly happy for them I can't stress that enough, but it hurts to...I suppose what hurts more is when I see those parents who don't give their children the time of day, I'll never understand how it is fair that so many people who don't even care if they have kids/or don't really want kids seem to have so many!
Part of me regrets leaving behind the adoption, I honestly have so many doubts about it sometimes....she may not even know who we were but I knew who she was, and I saw her in our family, I will always pray for her, wondering where she is, if she ever found the forever family she was looking for. And who knows we may never even have been a match for her, but I'll never know will I, could Mark and I have been her family? So I know this is a bit of a downer post, which is why I separated it from the other one, but my heart has been heavy with this and I needed to share....Pray for me please, and Mark to. We (mostly I) are trying to learn to trust that there is a plan and that I didn't royally screw it up by taking this job. Part of me almost wishes we'd be told that there is no way we'll have a baby it almost seems like it would hurt less to be able to grieve that and let go, rather than keep wondering. To be able to stop wishing and hoping that every little symptom I even remotely feel I'm having is a possibility of a baby. I really am quite good at deluding myself, and for that brief day or two I let myself imagine the possibilities, the cute little curly haired little boy or girl with my dimples and Mark's eyes...ok enough self-pitying I love you all.

Nicole

Southern Hospitality

So I've been living in the south for just over a month now. It as weird at work yesterday we (me and the two other girls who started at the same time) received an email from our HR director informing us that we had reached our 30 mark. It was so weird, it alternately feels like we just started and have been there forever. We really hit the ground running, August and September are the busiest season for Membership staff, we have to try and get to all the schools in our area (one of my school districts has 16 elementary schools) make fliers, meet our Service Unit teams, plan recruitment events, along with a bunch of other stuff. So needless to say we've been busy. Which I like because I've never been one to sit around and be bored. I've got two areas in Oklahoma that I'm responsible for, and they're pretty much needing to be rebuilt from scratch. So I've been out there a lot, I'm really getting to know the guys at Enterprise. Which kinda sucks because if I'm going to drive an hour to hour and a half out there I'm going to get as much out of it as possible, so I end up being out of the office for at least half the day. Luckily my two other areas are less than half an hour away from the office, so I can take quick trips up there no problem.
Everyone at work has been really nice, actually I've notice that everyone down here in general is really nice! What they say about southern hospitality is totally true! For instance, twice now the cashiers at Wal-Mart Neighborhood Markets (which are like just the grocery side of a Wal-Mart which is super convenient for quick trips on my way home from work) has helped me put my bags in my cart. I also bought a couch/chair/ottoman off of Craigslist (which is practically new and super nice). When I told the lady that I wanted to buy them, but couldn't pick them up seeing as how I don't know anyone well enough here to ask them to help me move furniture. So she offered to bring them to town and deliver them. She also said she'd be glad to introduce me to her kids that go to the University of Arkansas (she thought I was a student also). People don't just do that in Michigan, at least I've never seen it! It's kinda nice, I like friendly people. Now I just have to try and make some friends. Which isn't exactly something I'm really good at. I don't even know where to start. Sigh, so if anyone has any advice on where and how to make friends I'd really appreciate it.

Moving is Insane!

So I guess I should update everyone on the move to Arkansas! So far it's been interesting. I love my job, it's really great and I am super excited about growing Girl Scouts in this area. Because my only Girl Scout experience was like a year when I was really young, and I didn't like it, and a couple years of camp I had a lot to learn. The new Girl Scouts branding just came out and they've also been working to make Girl Scouts more responsive to the needs of girls and it's SO COOL!! They have these things called Journey's that take Girl SCouts beyond the typical crafts, camping, cookies idea that everyone has. It really encourages girls to make a difference in their community and global awareness and all that. So I definitely am excited about getting out there and recruiting not only girls but also adult volunteers. Because without them there is no Girl Scouts! The two other girls that started the same day as me are really great! We've really been working together nicely as we try and figure everything out together. I'm of course the youngest but not by much (only about a year or so).
I signed a lease last week and have been waiting to move in until this week. I didn't want to have to pay the pro-rated rent for the week when I'd already paid for the hotel. Moving is expense, though I'm sure everyone already knew that. Luckily our apartment complex we signed with has a great deal right now. We get the first and the last months rent free. Woo! Which is really good cause things have been adding up fast!
Mark is coming down this weekend and I can't wait to see him!!! It'll be nice to get to spend some time together even though I'll be working and have some evening events that I'll need to be at, but it will be really nice to come home to my hunny! But it will be really hard to drive him to the airport on Saturday.
Well I can't really think of anything else. I miss the weather back home I know that, it's HOT here, and we're lucky because of the higher elevation we've been spared the heat advisory. But it's still in the mid-90's with humidity that makes it feel like 100-110!! I hope people come visit cause there is some really cool stuff here in Fayetteville! The area around the University is really cool, the area is absolutely beautiful. We're in the Ozarks so the area is pretty mountainous and the drive here was beautiful! And of course I miss my family and friends back home! But the people here are really friendly! I'd say way more friendly than in MI, or at least in Holland/Zeeland. I tried a new church on Sunday (that went quite well) it was fairly small probably around 75 people, or at least less than 100. While I was there waiting for the service to start, a couple of the elders came up and introduced themselves. The one teaching that day was all excited to introduce me to his wife who is a girl scout leader, and she was all excited to invite me back, and said I should come out to their house for game nite with their small group. I'll definitely be going back this week so hopefully it goes just as good.
Well that's all for now...

First day of the rest of our lives...

So it has been a while since I updated. I decided to take the job with the Girl Scouts. I leave for Arkansas on Friday! I'm so nervous!! But very exited too! This is my very first grown up job, working 40 hours a week for a salary with benefits and responsibility. It will be my opportunity to see if all my schooling and life up to this point has prepared me for a real job! Yikes.
Things have worked out quite well for me, I was nervous about what would happen with school, drill, etc. But things have worked out. I dropped my classes from the second half of summer, and my first class from spring ended the week before I got the job offer sot hat went well. My class that covers the whole 12 weeks of summer was what had me nervous. My professor had told the class that we could not miss any classes or we'd fail. Yikes, so I emailed him and luckily he was very willing to be flexible. For drill I will be drilling in Arkansas and they will send paperwork back to Michigan.
Most of our furniture has been sold, and I've been doing quite a bit of packing. I'll be taking a carload of stuff with me tomorrow, Mark will be coming down in August with a moving truck with the majority of our stuff and we'll signing a lease. I'll be looking at townhouses/apartments/duplexes for the next two weeks after work and such. so hopefully when Mark comes down I will have narrowed down the list to a couple of places that we can go look at together. Then he will be coming back down to Arkansas for good in Sept/Oct after finishing out our lease and making sure that we have benefits until mine kick in.
I start my first day on Monday at 10AM!! I'm super nervous, I mean this is my first grown up job, with responsibility and expectations and a salary! I'm curious how did you all feel before your first day as a grown up? Cause I'm super nervous, excited, and a bit apprehensive about letting people down. When we went up north over the holiday weekend it was a little bittersweet. It was great to get to see family and spend time with them. But it was also a little sad because we stopped at a couple different cemetery's across the UP. While we were in the Soo we went out to see my Grandpa James' and my dad's graves. I was quite proud of my ability to remember where it was since I hadn't been there in years. We brought some flowers and a baseball (for those that don't know my Grandpa was big in sports). In Newberry we stopped and saw Tiffany's grave. I'd never been before so we had a bit of a time finding it. And lastly in Manistique we stopped by Grandma Jessick and Jessica's graves. So many people in my life that I owe so much to, and hopefully have made proud. I wonder what they'd think of my first grown-up job, of me, of my life choices. I'd like to think they're happy.
So any words of advice or encouragement would great, plus any great first day stories would amuse me :-D
Pray for me please hopefully the trip will be uneventful and I'll arrive in our new town sometime Saturday afternoon.

love you all,
Nicole

Changes coming!

So as I blogged about last time, I've actually been getting some notice for the 10 million resumes I've sent out across the country. I had the interview with the Girl Scouts and it went really well, they asked me for a second interview and references and that also went really well. I had the interview in Grand Haven, didn't go so well. And then got called for another interview in Kalamazoo with a different organization. That is scheduled for next week. Well this morning I got an offer from the Girl Scouts! It would be in either Little Rock or Fayetteville and they want to know by tomorrow morning!!
So now some hard decisions have to made and prayed about. Moving away from family and everything we know wasn't as hard to think about when it was in the abstract of a possible job offer. Now that the offer is here I don't know what to think. Little bit scared because I've never had a 'real' job before so my fear of failure comes out. But then I also have that twinge of not wanting to leave what is comfortable and nice about Holland. We really do love it here, we've got a great church, good friends, family close by, and we're halfway through our adoption process. But I also know that I have to be open to wherever God is calling us, and that may actually be Arkansas. To get this offer before we have kids/are finished with the homestudy process may be perfect timing. I really don't know. Mark would be able to go back to school, I'd finally be working, we'd be in a place with a lower cost of living, and who knows maybe Arkansas is perfect for us. You never know until you jump right? So today will be an interesting day, Mark and I have a lot to talk about, and a really big decision to make. I would really like it if everyone could pray for us/me as we make this decision, I really want to make the right one.

Big big and bigger news!

So wow, it's been a while since I've updated and SO much has been going on. Firstly we scheduled our second homestudy meeting with our caseworker. We're set to meet on July 9th! It will be an opportunity for us to go over our answers on our paperwork, he will do a more thorough inspection of our house, and such. Second big news is that we have our PRIDE training scheduled, well at least we will as long as I can get out of class for one of the days and Mark can get out of work. Once those a done we will have completed our end of everything.
So now for the bigger news....I got called for 2 job interviews!! I know I know not really adoption related, but it could have some ramifications. The first interview is for the Girl Scouts! It's pretty much the same position that I could have had an interview for back in Sept. It is a Membership Specialist position which is responsible for recruiting volunteers and girls and doing some other side projects as needed. It's a pretty awesome job great for a first time job in the sector and it would be so nice to have a full-time job. So now for the downside....it's in Arkansas!! So that would mean we would have to restart the adoption process in Arkansas, and of course all of the logistics of moving cross country!
The second job is for an administrative assistant/receptionist position for a real estate management company. The job is full time with benefits making a rather nice salary. This job is located in Grand Haven, which means we'd both be working full-time I'd be able to stay in school, Mark would be able to go back to school, and we wouldn't have to move or put the adoption on hold. But it would change some family dynamics with me working full-time.
And of course now I just got an email from one of the officers on base about a position he thought I might be interested in. WOW when it rains it pours.
So the interview went ok with the real estate management company. I didn't nail it, but it wasn't awful. I should know by early next week if they want me for a second interview.
The interview with the Girl Scouts went really good! It was a phone interview and it was 45min long! She asked for references and had me fill out an employment application and background check release. So I filled them out and sent them back and she asked me for a second interview on Monday! WOW! Not sure what to think, it's happening really fast, they would want me to start mid-July the 14th/19th. So we'll see how the second interview goes, see if I hear anything from Grand Haven and spend a lot of time praying for guidance.
So not sure what's going to happen in the next few weeks but it will be interesting that's for sure. Pray for us please!